hm.

My english 1a teacher is hella boss.
Every morning he plays music that will relate to something in the day, or just for the hell of it.

and then some teacher next door came over and told him to turn it down. LOL he was like "OH yeahyeah, sure. sorry." after he closed the door he gave a look like, "UH, EXCUSE ME BITCH?"

and then he turned down the volume of the music. but, 30 seconds later he was like, "SCREW THAT, IM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD //puts volume even louder// SHE CAN CALL THE POLICE FOR ALL I CARE"

lolol. gg.

mmm besides that, it's been really hot. ..


and i just found this music video:


ehhh. while i was watching/listening to this, my dad emailed me and told me to send him pictures of Blackie.

Idenno. i was looking through all the pictures i had of him.
i started to cry.


i miss him. so.. much..

thoughts.

I don't want that new dog. I hate it.
I still don't accept the fact that Blackie is gone.
I didn't even have enough time to grieve over Blackie.. and Wils goes and buys a new dog..?? That doesn't... even.. That's a hella stupid move. I understand he's trying to be a good brother but, dude. Buy it AFTER I am OKAY. stupid shit. You have no idea.. How suicidal I was that day.


//sigh.

Well, besides that..
Blackie came back today. When I got home, I opened the cardboard box he was in. I took his urn out, and just cried while hugging it. Sad and desperate.. huh?
It's been 12 days since I saw him. I'll always miss and love him. No one else can compare to him.

I will NEVER love this dog as I loved Blackie. never.





sidenote:

Don't ever give me this bullshit.

this dog/

is pissing me off like crazy.

it's biting everything and im just like, ASDFG =____=





I WANT TO KICK THIS DOG SO BADLY, BUT ITS A BABY AND ITS A GIRL
ASDF

punkassbitch. =.=

somedays

i wish i were the one who was hit by the car.
i'd very much like it if it were me, than blackie.




i hate my life. i hate everything.
and if i had enough bravery and courage, i would plunge a knife into me.



i want to leave and never come back.

i don't like my life.


not one bit at all.


scores on finals that i know of so far:
spanish: 57% -- yeah, fuck that. possible final grade: C, I REALLY, REALLLY. wanted a B-.
apush: 77% -- eh, whatever. final grade: B
drawing: 100% -- easy. final grade: A+
honors english: 87% -- eh. final grade: C
anatomy: 83% -- HOLY SHIT, YES. -- final grade: B-
precal: 62% -- ah, whatever.. final grade: C


sigh.. ending junior year with 3 Cs.
well,.. technically 2, since honors.. is a bitch.



hello to mom kicking my ass.

tomorrow.

i am going to die. die. die. die. die.dieee.diee.diedie.

anatomy - mooching off racoon/ hentshckies class.


precal - eff it all. =.=










I HATE LIFE. VERY, VERY, VERY MUCH.

We went and picked up his body today.

I was sitting at a table with my dad.. and then they brought a white carry box out. it was a cardboard carry box. .. when i saw that box.. my heart shattered.

just to know, the body of someone i love is in there. wilson told them if i can get the collar.. so the lady took him into the back room and brought the collar back to me.



i started to break down so bad.. i really.. had a hard time reaching for the collar. but when i did get it, i just held it against my heart, crying.

when we decided we'd cremate him, we went back to the humane society in milpitas.

while in the parking lot.. wils said, "DAD! look at the body i want to know if he's still.. intact."

so, my dad did. my mom told me to stay away. wils held me while they looked.. then wils went to look. he said, "Oh! he's intact! he looks like he's sleeping!"

so.. i walked over.. and i looked in. .. my heart shattered into even more little pieces.

what i saw: Blackie curled into a small ball.. he was intact and everything.. he looked.. normal..as if he were sleeping. and when i looked at his face.. omg..
i really. just.. broke down. hysterically. no joke. i cried harder than i did yesterday.

it was really too much for me to bear.



and his i.d tag; because i made him a new one yesterday, i will keep it on my phone chain.. until i can finally accept that he is gone.

August 2004- June 4, 2010

Rest in Peace, Blackie
I will always love you dearly.


Love,
Kristine Vu






[more on tumblr]

My baby is lost.

And I am determined to find him.
If I cannot find him.. I'd just.. die.